You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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