Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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