sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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