did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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