Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize