I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
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No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
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Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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