I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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