So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
