I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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