Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
