OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
