went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
