You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
