I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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