Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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