did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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