I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
