I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
