we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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