I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
