Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
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I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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