i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
