you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
