Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
