Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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