Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm always down for nudity.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
