I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
