STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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