Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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