I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
