He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
well I can't set my house on fire every night
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
