Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
