I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize