my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
