Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
