Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
then he tried to convert me to islam
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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