i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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