Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
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So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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