We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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