I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
