Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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