just come out here and I will go home with you...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
