Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
