Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
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