I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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