I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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