What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker