Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
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Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
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Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat