I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.