I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I showed him my bush... on skype.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?