He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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