sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Never joke about your clitoris.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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