why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize