mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This is the high leading the old right now
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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