Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
