He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize