I got chris browned last night
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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