i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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