I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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